Hecksing
by DarkestVampire
Summary: This fanfiction has been aborted. Suit yourself.
1. Vampire Hunter

**Hecksing- By DarkestVampire**

Chapter 1: Vampire Hunter

_Cheddar Village, England, Great Britain_

_The year is 1997._

_3:07 AM._

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The night was cold and cloudy, small waves of wind rushed over the grassland. Tree branches made small noises, giving off a little sign of life in this silence. High above them was the moon, shining in a full circle down to the world of the humans, giving light deep in the night.

Nobody was around anywhere...

But, on the very edge of a hill nearby, one could still spot a person, standing there, waiting for something. On closer look, the figure was stareing up to the moon, watching it behind thick sunglasses, tinted orange, almost red. Shoulder long hair came out under the wide brimmed hat, hanging over a blood red coat like a thin blanket covering a body. Minutes passed in silence, until the radio headset in the persons ear started to sound.

"What are you doing just now, Vampire? Get moveing!" it came from the tiny speaker of the headset.

Then, the figure turned lightly, back to the street, not giving off the face by pulling up the coat a bit.

"Ah, sorry.. I just looked at the moon for a little while."

With that, the person continued to walk towards the forest near Cheddar.

* * *

_A few days earlier.. the 14th of June, Wendsday.._

A strange priest came to this land. A quite bizarre one, to say the least.

He took the chuch near the forest of Cheddar, praying with the townfolk there.. but no one ever saw him outside.

Whatever it was day or night, he stayed inside the church, always avoiding the light of sun.. but no one seemed to notice, until the first villager disappeared without a trace.

At first, the suspicion was that he just left, but then, one person after another were gone, following in his footsteps... finally, as the priest didn`t disappear, but seemed to look younger with every day that passed, the people of Cheddar alerted the police, framed him.

On the next day, a division of the D11 commando, lead by the English police department, engaged...

Two days later, the zone around Cheddar was declared as "danger zone" class V.

* * *

_5th of July, present day, Monday_

"Hellsing Organziation?" The chief of the D11 asked, forced to believe what the man told him.

"Yes.. in case you weren`t listening, I will explain myself again." The young man next to him took his coat off, letting long brown hair have its ways of gravity.

The man, obviously his butler, handed him a pack of cigars, and after he took one, a lighter snapped and the butler lighted it for him.

"The Hellsing Organzation.. is a secret counter-strike force against the undead. When a Homo Phili, or vampire, as we commonly say, bites someone.. the victim becomes a ghoul almost immildiantly.

A ghoul is, as you might know, an undead creature, much like a zombie."

The man exhaled a smoke ring. "Your men have most likely been killed, or transformed into ghouls.. and are thus our property."

The chief blinked serveral times, then made an hard expression. "Vampires? Ghouls? Are you trying to fool us?! These things don`t exist!"

The man turned around, faceing him with his green eyes, stareing down his.

"The Hellsings have haunted these creatures with effect for generations. How dare you speak to us in such a tone. Just because your authority isn´t high enough to know about us, you think that you can disbelieve the holy order of the Queen? ... but back to the topic at hand... if the victim that is bitten is a virgin, and most of all, is of the opposite sex, he can also turn into something else... a vampire of his own. To prevent that, i´ve send the best we have.... don`t worry, this will be taken care of in an instant."

The chief exhaled a breath, then looked at him again. "You send one man to that monster?!"

The head of Hellsing however, shook his head with a grin. "Not one man. One vampire."

"Who is he?" The chief wanted to know, suddenly curious about what that person could be. Another cloud of smoke filled the air before the Hellsing leader started to talk again.

"Her name is Seras... and she is a perfect vampire hunter. Only a vampire knows exactly how to kill one. If she handles the case, then it will be over as soon as she gets there."

* * *

_Meanwhile, a few kilometeres away.._

The person in the red coat was still walking on, and on, and on, with seemingly no tiredness at all.

The sunglasses glittered in the moonlight, as a breath of wind opened up the coat, revealing a catsuit-like attire underneath.

Large boots that went up to the knees, an red ribbon over a bust one could easyly get jealous of.. and on the hip, held in place by a thick leather holster, was a gigantic handgun, surpassing everything imagineable in pistols or revolvers that was on the market.

A devious smirk crossed the cute face that could turn in a monsterous one as the wind passed by.. another human life just ended, she could feel the tiny drops of blood in the wind.

"What a wonderful night... come to think of it, it makes me hunger for blood myself.." The soft, feminine voice spoke, followed by a laughter that could be compared to the one of the devil itself, dark, low and horrible.

The gloved hands of the woman glided up to the coat and closed it over the chest, before moveing on.. the pentagram symbols on each glove glowed red for the fraction of a second.

"Releaseing control lock restriction to level four.. hold until the target has been completely silenced." She muttered, while continuneing her path.

Not far away, the last survivor of the D11 was fighting through the forest.

A tall man, probably two metres tall when being up close, with black hair and a very muscular figure.

But right now, he ran for his life, the vampire priest right on his heels.

Sometimes, he turned around, and fired a few shots at him, but the only thing that happened was that one of his ghouls stepped forth and caught the shots for him.

"Hah! Guns are useless, my friend.. just accept your fate and join me..." the priest laughed, grinning in pre-extasy.

But stopping to walk was a bad idea, as the cop found out... the Priest catched on and grabbed his collar tightly, holding him up.

"You know what.. I won´t turn you into a vampire... I will rape you, and then kill you, before you join my army... You will be... mine..." The vampire taunted, grasping him by the arm, rushing the other one over his chest.

"No... no... NOOO!" The cop`s cry was cut short by an aura appearing out of nowhere.

"Why are you yelling like that, human... he`s just fooling around with you."

"Who the fuck are you?!" The priest shouted to the intruder, holding the cop tightly, like a hostage.

"I`m a hitman.. thats all you need to know." The person stepped closer revealing her red attire and catsuit as she stepped out of the dark.

"A hit-man? Hah! You look like a woman to me!"

The girl clentched her teeth, stopping for a moment. "Its my job, okay, I didn´t name it like that. But, on the other hand, you look like a punk more than a priest, as well." She stepped in closer.

"What rags are you wearing, what look you`re having. Wrinkles covering your face, a nose that people would die for, and most of all, this cotton suit is making me sick... making me SICK!!" The girl stopped in the middle of everything, loweing her arms after she pointed at the priest for a time.

"Someone like you should just die... and thats what you´re about to do."

The vampire priest grinned, snipping his fingers. "Whats that? I will die?! Looks like the other way around, girl!"

The ghouls surrounding them suddenly pulled out their guns, submachine guns, shotguns, handguns, everything owned by the police.. and they all fired at once.

The cop held by the priest was about to go numb as so many weapons fired right next to him.

The woman in the coat, however, had worse problems, as she was pierced by bullets all over... turning into a mess.

Her left arm was shot off by a shotgun slug, the glasses fell to the ground after a fouty-four blast, her cheek exploded in a red cloud as the same gun shot again...

A minute later, a deformed corpse fell to the ground, wearing red.

"Hah! Hitman, hit-woman.. I`d say she was jokeing!!" Red eyes flashed as the priest eyed her.

The cop in his hands just lowered his head and sighed.

But then, a moment later, the blood spilled suddenly started to run across the field, towards the corpse.. in fact, the blood returned into the body itself, and the served arm disappeared, reappearing on the body in a swifted cloud.

Slowly, the body rose again, and red eyes flashed up there as well.

"Shooting guns at me.. what a pathetic excuse for a vampire!" She said, then stood back up, still regenerateing.

"Wha... what...!" Stuttered the priest, but his words were cut off by a glace of the vampire in front of him.

"But if thats the way you want to play, I have something in mind..." Then, the girl drew out her huge handgun, its silver body flashed in the moonlight before it plopped down onto her arm.

A moment passed, and the ghoul that was aimed at was about to fire back, but then she pulled the trigger.

The gigantic slide of the weapon whacked backwards as a muzzle flame three feet long flashed out of the gun, the bullet letting the face of the ghoul explode.

Slowly turning around in a circle, the girl kept fireing at the ghouls next and near to her, shell cases plopping to the ground while ghoul bodies detonated repeatedly.

Finally, the empty magazine of the weapon it the ground, as the ghouls turned to dust alltogether.

"What.. why?! You`re a vampire like me, and yet you...!" The priest started, but the girl cut him off.

"At least i´m not dressed like an idiot. Your style of clothing and sense is immature.. and ugly. For the sake of the human peace.. you`ll die."

A fresh magazine slid into the weapon, and the slide clicked back into place.

"These thirteem millimeter silver bullets fitted with explosive penetrators, melted down from Lancaster crosses and fitted into Casull shells will do a rather good job on your flithy body.."

The vampire girl grinned wide.

"Nothing I shoot ever gets back up, again."

* * *

"Wait.. just wait.. help me escape, and we can share this one... we can rape him both, we can live together, we can drink from people, we can.." The priest stuttered, but the girl didn`t seem to listen.

"Cop." She simply said, looking at the guy in the priests hands.

"Ye..yes?" He answered, shuddering a bit.

"I`m going to kill him..but you`re in the way. I will have to shoot through your lungs to destroy him." She said calmly, like she would do it everyday.

"..." Silence came from the cop. So he was gonna die, anyway? She wasn`t gonna save him?

"Are you a virgin?" She asked, but then was interrupted by the priest.

"No! What are you doing?! Are you even listening to...!"

"Are. You. A .Virgin." She repeated, louder, more clearer.. and dangerously threatening.

"Ye...yes...!" The cop answered... and a second later, he felt a beat to the chest.

Then, pain followed, and he saw his own blood spilled out.

The smokeing gun in the hands of the girl was the evidence that she wasn`t kidding.

"What....what... are you... Who are you....!!" Gasped the priest, trying to close the wound over his heart.

"...the vampire... Seras!!" and with that, her arm ended his undead existance by pieceing his heart.

Finally, the silence was back again, and the gun slid back into its holster..

But the cop was still lieing there, bleeding.

Seras got onto her knees, looking down at him.

"Hey... whats your name, cop." She asked, putting her glasses back on.

"A....Alu..card..." He groaned, not being able to move much.

"Alucard, huh... your blood smells delicous." The cop flitched, but regreted it instantly as a shock of pain went through him.

"Say, Alucard... wouldn´t you like to be a vampire, too?"

A rush of thoughs went through his brain. Images... voices... colors...

He going onto a crusade... he finding his wife that he never had sex with dead... then, he was punished for it, hanging without dieing after it... and finally, the fat sultan rapeing him.

"..y..yes... but..."

"Good... " Seras purred, comeing down closer to his neck.

"But... I want to... fuck....y...!...." His voice died, and he fainted into a deep slumber as Seras`s fangs bit down his neck, draining the rest of his blood in the process.

_**To be continued.....**_


	2. Master of Monster

**A/N: Alright, due the massive demand for a continueation, here´s a second chapter. I tried to improve it somehow, makeing it funnier, and i must say, it was more fun to write this way.**

**I didn`t spell check it, but it should be fine.. still, please don´t send me any more reviews that just say that my spelling sucks or that i have many spelling errors. I know that. I´m aware of it. I can`t change it. Haveing it beta-read would take too long, and people would stop being interested in this, so i`m just gonna have it this way.**

**In this chapter, we get to see how Seras, the almighty vampire, and the new leader of Hellsing meet.. enjoy the madness, folks! :D**

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**Hecksing- by DarkestVampire**

_Chapter 2: Master of Monster (-ous Boobies. XD)_

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_London, Hellsing Manor_

_Private Bedroom of Arthur van Hellsing_

_27th of October, 1987._

_11.54 AM._

"Oh for gods sake just die already." The young Butler kept saying, waiting for the old Hellsing leader to embark on his last journey.

A painful cough was the reply, comeing from Arthur Hellsing, who was lieing in the bed he would die in.

Next to him, there was his faithful son Pip, his brother Walter, and finally, the Butler, Richard, who just wanted to let him go. As fast as possible.

"Just wait for it, Richard.. it takes time." came from Walter, who was much more paticent.

"Did you have to drink so much, Father?" asked Pip, leaning over to his father.

"Yes...yes, my son.. and I will tell you why.. someday, you`ll find yourself faceing a .. really, really, really pretty woman.. and I assure you, when you drink alcohol, you`ll wake in her bedroom the next morning.. Oh, who am I kidding.. you`re too young to know that." Arthur Hellsing coughed again, spitting out a bit of blood.

"But..But.. Father... didn´t you drink with Sir Islands?"

Richards and Walter looked at each other, not saying a word, then Walter left the room immidiantly.

"My son... I never had the guts to tell you, but.. i`m not actually your father.. i`m married to Islands, he adopted you from some strange old man who was a mercenary.."

Pip`s expression broke apart. "WHAT THE HELL FATHER?!!"

Soon, the mighty and unbroken Arthur Hellsing found himself being on the verge of death, and spoke his last will to everyone.

"Walter.. you`re a good man. You`ll get my car and three crates of my finest whiskey. But Hellsing will never be yours."

Walter gritted his teeth, but nodded. Whatever. The car was much more valureble than a bunch of lunatics killing Vampires for their own bloodthirst.

"Richards.. you suck. You`ll serve our family till death allows you to rest." Arthur continued, pointing at the butler.

"Certainly, Sir. Its my pleasure... in a sarcastic way, of course."

"And you, my son.. now that you`re eighteen, you will gain my most valureble thing of all.." the old man said, holding the hand of him.

"What`s that, Father? The Organization? The Manor?" Pip was excited, getting the best of all.

"No, my silly outgrown fetus. My protection. If you ever find yourself faceing a threat that you can`t handle on your own, and Mommy is not around, go to the forgotten underground dungeon. There, you`ll find someone that will protect and serve you until the danger is over."

Pip narrowed his eyes. "But Father.. didn`t you say the dungeon is forgotten? How am I supposed to find it then?"

"You`ll think of something. Now let me die."

And so, without another word, Arthur Hellsing breathed his last breath, and his coffin was sent to outer space. In one hundred years, it would collide with the moon, causeing a cascade of dramatic events, such as the implosion of the sun, climate changes, and some other sh*t not worth mentioning.

But Walter Cumm Dornez was not satisfied with the way things turned out to be. Arthur didn`t mention who would be the one to lead the Organzation.

So, he made a dreadful plan to take over Hellsing, killing everyone in his way in the process.

"Everyone! This is Walter C. Dornez, and I will pay one million dollars to the one that kills Pip Hellsing!" he shouted out into the main hall.

Of course, it didn´t take a second for the soldiers to grab their weapons and spread out to find the young man.

Meanwhile, Richard Hellsing was going on a trip to Africa, ditching Pip and his duties completely.. afterall, he mentioned going on a holiday three weeks ago and he was not gonna cancel it just because the boy`s in danger.

And so, Pip was up to himself, betrayed by everyone, haunted and threatened to be killed.

What would you do in his place? Of course. You`ll find a place to hide until you come across a weapon`s locker and turn the tables.

And so he did.

* * *

_Hellsing Manor, B wing_

_Same day,_

_13:23 PM_

"What do you mean you can´t find him?!" Walter yelled at one of the soldiers.

"Sorry Sir. He`s unable to be located. We believe he`s using curtain hack." The soldier replied, shrugging.

"yea, hes totally a fukin haxozr. If I wre admin id ban him. Imma tak the 1337." Another soldier, who was most obviously playing too much counterstrike, said. Too bad he was ahead of his time, since CS wasn´t even created back then. Let alone his engine, or 3D video games, to begin with.

"Shut up, you incompetent morons. Fine, I will find him myself, and if I find him before you do, I assure you that you will be suspended." With that, Walter drew out his deadly wires of death.

How little did they know that Pip was right above him, in a ridiculously huge ventilation shaft.

"Uncle.. do you really want Hellsing so much? What´s so special about it? I mean, why don´t you just take over one of the others, like Iscariot or PEDS? They´re better than we are!"

For some reason, Walter couldn´t hear him, and proceeded to walk down the hallway.

"Oh well.. I suppose I should get going.." Pip said to himself, slideing down a tube shaped section of the vent shaft.. and ended up in a trash compactor.

"Aw, shit." Curseing more, he crawled out of it, finding himself being in the lower levels of the Mansion.

"Hmm... might as well search for this dungeon Father talked about.."

Constantly avoiding soldiers, he sneaked towards the cellar, searching every little room in his reach... and finally, he was faceing a large door, fitted with scraps of metal to protect from something.

"Judgeing by the look of it, I suppose this is where Father kept Islands when he was sleeping here..." Pip speculated, then suddenly, he got curious and opened it up.

But inside, there was nothing but a breathtakeingly bad smell.

"Oh what the..." He said, almost passing out.

On the end of the room, there was a body covered in leather straps.. and it was halfway rotten apart.

"...oh... guess this was his last playmate." Pip shuddered, it was quite cold here, but something told him that he won`t be found here, so he closed the door.

* * *

_Hellsing Manor, Underground Dungeon, Forgotten one_

_Same day,_

_14:02 PM_

"Damn, this stinks. And I mean that literally." Pip muttered, still playing cards with himself.

Actually, he was imagineing that the corpse would play with him, but instead he just cheated and played for it.

The corpse was just about to win, as the door bursted open, letting armed men storm inside, carrying large automatic weapons, rocket launchers and mortar cannons.

Walter came along as well, wieldling his deadly wire of death.

"Well well well, my friend, look what we have here. Its the ancient corpse nobody knows about." He said, wrapping wires around Pip`s wrists.

"Leave me alone! Thats an order!" The young man shouted, trying to get the wires off, but ended up cutting himself with them.

Blood dripped from his hands onto the floor, and onto the corpse.

"I can`t have that, my friend.. because you suck. You suck so much, it hurts me to see it. And so, I must eliminate you.. and finally, I will have Hellsing in my grasp."

Pip looked at him like an alien.

"Why do you want Hellsing so much?! Its a freaking vampire hunter organization! Do you know how much work it is to lead it?!!"

"Yes indeed, and I will lead it into glory. Soon, all Vampires will be destroyed, and I, will rule, the world!" Walter said, laughing out loud.

"I`m truly sorry, but I can`t have that."

"What?! Who said that?!" The traitor looked around hectically, trying to locate who just spoke.

Little did they know that it was the corpse speaking.

"You are a fool... the boy was correct, it is indeed a fuckload of work... and besides that, Vampires will never be completely gone.."

Suddenly, everyone looked over to the corpse, being shocked that it suddenly licked the blood off the floor.

One could see how the body regained its original form, getting female features, exeptionally pretty ones, as well as short, blonde hair.

"My my my.. Sir Walter Cumm Dornez.. what an honor to meet you." said the corpse, slowly raiseing up.

"Wha.. what...! Shoot her! Shoot her, now!!" Walter commanded the soldiers, and they obeyed after a second of being stunned.

But a second was too long.. the vampire who was just unleashed broke the chains that bound her on the wall, then rushed through the room, sliceing the soldiers in half in the process.

The blood was spilled onto the ground, then it ran across it, towards the vampire, getting absorbed by her body.

"What the.. what the hell..!" Walter stuttered, like he never saw a vampire before.

Pip was also stunned, but freed himself from the wires in this moment of confusion.

Then, he was breathless as the vampire kneeled down to him.

"You`re a wise man, young boy.. I can smell Arthur`s blood on you." The corpse said, with a softer voice than before. "I will serve and protect you as long as you wish me to.. just give me an order."

Pip stared at her, at this strange, leather clad vampire, and then started to smile. "Give you an order? Okay."

Then he stepped in front of her, and opened his pants.

The female vampire looked up to him with a look that could kill..."You`ve got to be f`****img kidding me."

Walter regained his breath, and attacked with his wires again.. but all he´d hit was the vampire, as she shifted in front of her young master in an instant.

"Who.. who are you..?" Pip asked, closeing his pants quickly.

"I am Seras, naughty young person... and I am your humble slave. Now don`t take that too personal and just order me to kill him." Seras said, grinning as she looked at Walter´s body, which was trembleing in fear.

"..okay.. kill him."

"As you wish, my Master."

* * *

_Hellsing Target Practice Center_

_Present day, 10th of July._

_5:03 AM_

Shots rang out, muzzle flashes illuminated the night as the tall man shot at the paper target in front of him.

The small handgun locked as all shots had been fired, and the target was hit right in the face.

"Not enough. Thats still not enough, Cop. You´ll need to hit it with the first shot already, not with the fourteenth. Let me show you." With that, Seras stepped to the shooting range next to a frustrated Alucard, and pulled out her Casull.

"But.. is there even a target?" He asked, looking down the path she was aiming at.

"Yes there is.. one kilometre away." She pulled the trigger, and the bullet flew out of the gun on a deadly collision course with the target.

A kilometre away, Hugh Islands car blew up as the fuel tank was hit, and Seras holstered the hand cannon again, grinning manically.

"Stop terrorizeing the poor old man. He has enough issues." Pip said, looking up from his newspaper. His brown eyes met her red ones, and her grin faded into a smile.

"Fine. But its not peace, just a retreat. Making new plans." She giggled evily, putting her sunglasses back on.

"...Hahhh. How long has it been, Seras? It seems like a long time you scared him first." The Hellsing leader said, throwing the newspaper into the trash can. Who`d bother reading it, anyway. All they had to report were the events of yesterday, as ususal.

"Truely it´s been some time.. ten years, to be exact. Still seems like yesterday to me." Seras smirked, looking back to the car she just blew to bits.

"Thats because you don`t age." He said, standing up. "Now what are you gonna do about him?"

Pip pointed to Alucard, who was still sinking deeper into his frustrations.

Seras grinned at him. "Who knows.. but he might be of some valure. Afterall, I could just keep him as a slave."

"You do that, i`ll go watch TV." With that, the mighty man with the long brown hair left, having a smile on his lips as well. Things were going to get interesting with Alucard around.

_**To be continued....**_

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_A/N: Okay, this was the second chapter. See the review button? Press it, please. Tell me if i improved anything.. and for gods sake, please don`t write that i made spelling errors. ::headdesks:: I`ll try to improve that along the way, but please. It`ll take time._

_Now if you`re writeing me some nice reviews, i´ll write a third chapter as well. Deal? ^^_


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